Worked example · Expressive Arts · Year 4
LNF: Literacy → Writing → Vocabulary, spelling, grammar
A secure Year 4 response, annotated so you can see which success criterion each part meets. It is also the answer key. Key answers: colours violet mountain, amber sky, navy lake, golden windows, silver moon, slate grey roof (crimson and emerald not needed); spellings quietly, softly, gently, calmly, brightly, lazily, peacefully.
mountain, snow, lake, cottage, sheep, moon (also accept sky, windows, roof, grass, hills)
| Plain | Upgraded |
|---|---|
| a big mountain | a towering, jagged mountain |
| a nice sky | a glowing, peach-coloured sky |
| a blue lake | an inky, glassy lake |
| a small house | a snug, whitewashed cottage |
| a bright moon | a gleaming, silvery moon |
| some white sheep | a few scattered, woolly sheep |
Each new word fits what the painting really shows (the sky is orange and pink, so fiery or peach-coloured works; inky fits the dark lake). Words from outside the bank are fine if they are precise. Evidences criterion 1.
| Part | Precise colour |
|---|---|
| the mountain | violet |
| the sky near the hills | amber |
| the lake | navy |
| the cottage windows | golden |
| the moon | silver |
| the cottage roof | slate grey |
Crimson and emerald are not needed. Accept golden for the sky and amber for the windows if both are used sensibly. Evidences criterion 2.
| Word | Add -ly | Rule |
|---|---|---|
| quiet | quietly | just add ly |
| soft | softly | just add ly |
| gentle | gently | le: take off e, add y |
| calm | calmly | just add ly |
| bright | brightly | just add ly |
| lazy | lazily | y changes to i |
| peaceful | peacefully | ful + ly, double l |
The golden windows glow softly in the dark.
The common mistakes are gentlely, lazyly and peacefuly. Evidences criterion 3.
Yr Wyddfa at Dusk by Elin Pugh
A towering, violet mountain rises into a fiery sky. Its jagged peak still has a cap of snow. Below it, an inky lake lies quietly, and a silvery moon gleams above the hills. Golden lights glow in the windows of a snug cottage where a few woolly sheep are settling down for the night. The painting makes me feel calm and cosy, as if I am walking home after a long day on the mountain.
Upgraded words: towering, fiery, jagged, inky, silvery, snug, woolly. Colours: violet, golden, silvery. One -ly word: quietly. The last sentence gives a feeling. Sentences start in different ways (A, Its, Below it, Golden, The). Evidences criteria 1, 2, 3 and 4.
Old word: big (first draft: “a big mountain”) New word: towering
Evidences criterion 5.