Worked example · Humanities · Year 6
DCF: Interacting and collaborating → Communication
A secure Year 6 response, annotated so you can see which success criterion each part meets. It is also the answer key. It uses the stimulus sheet “An email from Elen in Gaiman”. Cai, his school (Ysgol Bro Derwen) and his town are invented. Key answers: subject line “Shwmae from Gaiman, Patagonia!”; attachment tea-house-gaiman.jpg; 7 paragraphs; 5 questions; 1865, about 150 settlers, the Mimosa, landed 28 July 1865 at Puerto Madryn, settled in the Chubut valley. Time zones: 2pm in Wales in winter is 11am in Gaiman; 10:15am in Gaiman in July is 2:15pm in Wales; 9am in Wales in winter is 6am in Gaiman.
| Part of the email | What it says in Elen’s email |
|---|---|
| Who it is from | Elen, using the Year 6 class account at Ysgol Glan yr Afon in Gaiman. |
| Subject line | Shwmae from Gaiman, Patagonia! |
| Greeting | Shwmae Year 6! Hola! |
| Attachment | tea-house-gaiman.jpg, a photo of a Welsh tea house near her school. |
| Sign-off | Hwyl fawr! Adiós! Elen |
(a) There are 7 paragraphs.
| Paragraph | What it is about |
|---|---|
| 1 | Who Elen is and where she lives. |
| 2 | History: the Welsh settlers on the Mimosa in 1865. |
| 3 | Languages: Spanish at home, Welsh with her grandmother and at school. |
| 4 | The Welsh tea houses in Gaiman and her attached photo. |
| 5 | It is winter in July, and Gaiman is 4 hours behind us. |
| 6 | Her questions for our class. |
| 7 | Please write back; her teacher checked the email. |
(b) 1. What is your town or village like? 2. What is the weather like in Wales in July? 3. Do you speak Welsh at school, at home, or both? 4. What do you like doing after school? 5. Could our classes have a video call one day?
(c) In 1865, about 150 Welsh settlers sailed on a ship called the Mimosa. They landed on 28 July 1865 at the place now called Puerto Madryn. They made their homes in the Chubut valley in Patagonia, Argentina.
(d) Argentina is in the southern hemisphere, so its seasons are the opposite of ours. When it is summer in Wales, it is winter in Gaiman.
Every part of the email is found and named, and each paragraph is summed up in a few words, which shows the pupil can see how Elen organised her writing. The facts are copied accurately. Evidences criterion 1.
| Way to keep in touch | How fast is it? | Does it cost money? | One advantage | One disadvantage |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| It arrives in seconds. | No, once you have a device and the internet. | You can attach photos, and Elen can read it when she is ready, so time zones do not matter. | You have to wait for a reply, and you cannot see each other’s faces. | |
| Video call | Live, straight away. | No, once you have a device and the internet. | You can see and hear each other and ask questions straight away. | Both classes must be free at the same time, which is hard when Gaiman is 3 or 4 hours behind. |
| Letter by post | Slow. It could take days or weeks to reach Argentina. | Yes, you need a stamp. | You can send real things, like a drawing, and you do not need a computer. | It is slow and it could get lost. |
(a) In winter Gaiman is 3 hours behind. 2pm is 14:00, and 14 − 3 = 11, so it is 11am in Gaiman.
(b) In July (UK summer time) Wales is 4 hours ahead. 10:15am + 4 hours = 2:15pm in Wales.
(c) 9 − 3 = 6, so it is 6am in Gaiman. That is not a good time, because Elen would probably still be at home, asleep or having breakfast, not in class.
(d) A video call is better when you want to see each other and talk live, for example to say hello to the whole class for the first time, or to sing a song to each other.
(e) An email is better when it is hard to find a time that suits both classes, or when you want to send a photo that Elen can look at whenever she is ready.
The pupil gives a reason for every advantage and disadvantage, links the video call problem to time zones, and chooses the right difference for each season (3 hours in winter, 4 in summer). The “when is it better” answers match the form of communication to the purpose. Evidences criteria 2 and 3.
My partner’s tip: answer Elen’s questions in the same order she asked them, so she can find the answers easily.
| Part of my reply | My notes |
|---|---|
| Introduction | Shwmae + Hola. Thank you. Cai, 11, Year 6, Ysgol Bro Derwen. Whole class read it. Amazed: Welsh still spoken there. |
| Answers to Elen’s questions | Q2: summer, warm, rains a lot. Q3: Welsh + English at school, English with mum, Welsh with grandad. Q4: football, swimming. Q5: yes! 2pm us = 10am her (July). |
| About our area | Q1: small, friendly town, river, green hills, park, library, leisure centre, Saturday market. Attachment: photo of river + park (no people, no houses). |
| Questions back | What do you learn about Wales? Best thing to do in Gaiman? Been to Puerto Madryn? |
| Conclusion | Thanks again. Amazing: settlers 1865, Welsh still spoken. Can’t wait to hear back. Hwyl fawr, Cai. |
The plan is in short notes, not sentences, and every one of Elen’s 5 questions has a place. The partner’s tip from the talk is used to order the answers. Literacy evidence: using talk to plan and noting ideas in a logical order. Evidences criterion 4.
To: Elen, Year 6 class account, Ysgol Glan yr Afon, Gaiman
From: Cai, Year 6, Ysgol Bro Derwen
Subject: Shwmae from Wales! Answers to your questions
Attachment: river-and-park.jpg (a photo of the river and the park in our town)
Shwmae Elen! Hola!
Thank you so much for your email. My name is Cai and I am 11 years old, just like you. I am in Year 6 at Ysgol Bro Derwen in Wales. Our whole class read your email together, and we were amazed that some people in Patagonia still speak Welsh.
In July it is summer here. It is warm but it rains a lot. We speak Welsh and English at school. I speak English at home with my mum and Welsh with my grandad. After school I play football. Yes we would love a video call.
Our town is small and friendly. It sits next to a river, with green hills all around it. We have a park, a library, a leisure centre and a market every Saturday. I have attached a photo of the river and the park, so you can see how green it is here.
Now I have some questions for you. What do you learn about Wales at your school? What is the best thing to do in Gaiman? Have you ever been to Puerto Madryn, where the Mimosa landed?
Thank you again for writing to us. It is amazing that Welsh settlers sailed all that way in 1865, and that people in Gaiman still speak Welsh today. I cannot wait to hear from you again!
Hwyl fawr!
Cai
Why I chose that attachment: Elen asked what our town is like, and the photo shows the river and the green hills better than words can. It is safe to share because there are no people, no houses and no street names in it.
A clear subject line, a greeting, 5 paragraphs that follow the plan in order (introduction, answers, our area, questions back, conclusion) and a sign-off with a first name only. The introduction says who Cai is and why he is writing; the conclusion links back to the history in Elen’s email. The attachment is mentioned in the email and the choice is explained. Literacy evidence: writing for an authentic audience, organised in a logical sequence with paragraphs. Evidences criteria 5 and 6.
| Check | Yes | No |
|---|---|---|
| I have not written my home address or street name. | ✓ | |
| I have not written a phone number. | ✓ | |
| I have used my first name only, not my full surname. | ✓ | |
| My attachment does not show my home or anything private. | ✓ | |
| My words are polite and kind, as if Elen were standing in front of me. | ✓ | |
| An adult will check my email before it is sent. | ✓ |
What I fixed: In my plan I first wrote the name of my street in the “About our area” row. I left it out of my email, because someone I have never met could use it to find my home. Elen kept safe too: she used only her first name, sent from her class account, and her teacher checked her email.
Every check is ticked honestly, and the pupil explains why personal details stay private. Evidences criterion 6.
Paragraph number: 2. What I will change: it sounds like a list. I will add an opening sentence, joining words and more detail, and give Elen a time for the video call.
My improved paragraph: Here are the answers to your other questions. In July it is summer in Wales, so it is usually warm, although it still rains a lot! At school we speak Welsh and English, and at home I speak English with my mum and Welsh with my grandad. After school I play football for the town team and I go swimming on Fridays. Yes, our class would love a video call! In July we are 4 hours ahead of you, so 2pm for us would be 10am for you. Would that time work for your class?
The pupil picks the weakest paragraph, says exactly what will change, and the new version uses joining words (so, although, and), adds detail and gives a correct summer time difference (2pm − 4 hours = 10am). Evidences criteria 3 and 7.
Winter video call: in winter Gaiman is 3 hours behind. 9am in Gaiman is 12 noon in Wales (9 + 3 = 12), and home time in Wales is 3pm. So any time between 12 noon and 3pm in Wales would work, for example 1pm in Wales, which is 10am in Gaiman.
First minute of the video call (any 3 polite sentences with a question): “Shwmae, everyone, and thank you for joining us! We are Year 6 from Ysgol Bro Derwen in Wales, and we loved reading Elen’s email. Can you show us what the weather is like in Gaiman today?”