Worked example · Science and Technology · Year 6
DCF: Producing → Evaluating and improving digital content
Also assessed, LNF: Literacy → Writing → Proofreading, editing and improving
A secure Year 6 response, annotated so you can see which success criterion each part meets. It is also the answer key. Science mistakes: the gap in the “complete circuit” on slide 2; plastic and wood called conductors on slide 3 (they are insulators); open switch, bulb on on slide 4 (an open switch makes a gap, so the bulb is off). Misspellings: electricity, because, circuit.
| Criterion | Slide 1 | Slide 2 | Slide 3 | Slide 4 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. Science correct | ✓ | ✗ | ✗ | ✗ |
| 2. Easy to read | ✗ | ✓ | ✗ | ✓ |
| 3. Spelling and punctuation | ✗ | ✗ | ✗ | ✗ |
| 4. Pictures help | ✗ (stars only) | ✗ (the circuit has a gap) | ✗ (no picture) | ✗ (a cat) |
| 5. Not too many words | ✓ | ✓ | ✗ | ✓ |
Slide 3 needs the most work. It has 2 wrong facts, too many words, 4 fonts that make it hard to read, and no picture.
Every judgement is tied to a criterion. Some ticks may reasonably differ (for example slide 1 has no science to be wrong): accept them if the reason is given. Evidences criterion 1.
| Slide | The mistake | Correct sentence |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | The picture says “a complete circuit” but has a gap in the wire. | Close the gap in the drawing: in a complete circuit the wires make an unbroken loop. |
| 3 | Plastic and wood are called conductors. | Plastic and wood are insulators, so they do not let electricity pass through. That is why wires are covered in plastic. |
| 4 | “When the switch is open the bulb is on.” | When the switch is open, there is a gap in the circuit, so the bulb is off. |
Corrected sentences are accurate and written for Year 4. Evidences criteria 3 and 4.
(a) You need a cell, a bulb and two wires. The circuit has to be a complete loop. If there is a gap, the electricity can’t flow and the bulb won’t light.
| What I changed | Why |
|---|---|
| “you” to “You”, “the” to “The” | Every sentence starts with a capital letter. |
| Added a comma after “cell” | Commas separate items in a list. |
| Added a full stop after “loop” | It was two sentences running together, which is hard to read. |
| “their” to “there” | “Their” means belonging to them. “There is” is correct here. |
| “cant” to “can’t”, “wont” to “won’t” | An apostrophe shows where letters are missing (cannot, will not). |
(c) ELECTRISITY → ELECTRICITY (slide 1); becuase → because (slide 3); circut → circuit (slide 4).
Punctuation and spelling corrected, and each change explained with the rule behind it. A strong answer also fixes “thats” and “its” on slide 3 (that’s, it’s). This is the proofreading (literacy) evidence. Evidences criterion 4.
| Slide | Change | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Make the title large and dark on a light background. Remove the stars. | Year 4 pupils at the back of the class must be able to read it; pale yellow on white is almost invisible. |
| 3 | Use one clear font and colour. Cut the last long sentence. Add a picture sorting materials into 2 groups. | Many fonts look messy and slow readers down. A sorted picture shows the idea quickly. |
| 4 | Swap the cat for a circuit diagram with a switch. | The cat is cute but does not explain anything, so it distracts from the science. |
Each change has a reason linked to the audience. Evidences criterion 2.
Switches
A switch turns a circuit on and off.
When the switch is open, there is a gap, so the bulb is off.
Large title, 2 short correct sentences, and a picture that shows the open switch making a gap. Evidences criteria 2 and 3.
Well done for keeping slides 2 and 4 short, which meets criterion 5, and for explaining that a circuit must be a complete loop (criterion 1). To improve: please check the facts on slide 3, because plastic and wood are insulators, and choose pictures that explain the science, like a circuit diagram instead of the cat (criterion 4).
Kind, specific and linked to criteria. Evidences criterion 5.
Slide 5: Why do some bulbs glow brighter? Adding more cells to a circuit makes a bulb glow brighter. Adding more bulbs in a row makes each bulb dimmer.
Rules: use big, dark text on a light background; use one font; keep to a few short sentences on each slide.