Worked example · Expressive Arts · Year 6
LNF: Literacy → Writing → Connectives and syntax
A secure Year 6 response, annotated so you can see which success criterion each part meets. It is also the answer key. Step 1: adding also, as well as, furthermore; contrasting however, although, whereas, but; cause and effect because, so, as a result; time after, meanwhile, finally, when. Steps 2 and 3 show one correct answer each; accept any answer that uses a connective from the right group and makes sense.
| Adding | Contrasting | Cause and effect | Time |
|---|---|---|---|
| also, as well as, furthermore | however, although, whereas, but | because, so, as a result | after, meanwhile, finally, when |
Accept when or after under cause and effect if the pupil gives a sentence that shows it. Evidences criterion 1.
Each sentence uses a connective from the right group. Sentences 2 and 4 start with the connective and have a comma after the first part. In 6 the order matters: the spinning causes the swirling. Evidences criteria 2 and 4.
A comma after each opening phrase. Evidences criterion 3.
On Thursday, Ysgol Bro Taf performed The Four Seasons, and it was a wonderful evening. The show opened with Year 3’s spring dance. When the music began, the dancers uncurled slowly and gracefully, so their ribbons looked like flowers opening. Meanwhile, the harp music kept everything calm. Although the summer dance was the complete opposite, it was just as enjoyable, because the crowd clapped along to the fast pop music. Two dancers bumped into each other in the conga line; however, they laughed and carried on.
After that, Year 5’s autumn dance was slow and swirling, whereas the summer dance had been fast. The paper leaves on their costumes also spun round with them, although a few lines were out of time. Finally, Year 6 performed the winter dance, which was the best moment of the night. The drums were so loud that I jumped out of my seat. Then, suddenly, there was total silence, and white lights fell like snow. As a result, the whole audience stood up and clapped for a long time.
Uses 12 different connectives from all 4 groups (when, so, meanwhile, although, because, however, after, whereas, also, finally, then, as a result). Two sentences open with a subordinate clause and a comma (When the music began, and Although the summer dance was the complete opposite,). Two clear paragraphs follow the order of the show. “Good” and “nice” are replaced by “wonderful” and “enjoyable”. The best moment is named with a reason. Evidences criteria 2, 3, 4 and 5.
Adding ☑ Contrasting ☑ Cause and effect ☑ Time ☑ Number of different connectives: 12
Drums, silence and snow: Year 6 steal the show at Ysgol Bro Taf!