Cover lesson · Geography · Year 7 · Beginner
LNF: Literacy → Writing → Proofreading, editing and improving
Name: Class: Date:
Print: this sheet, one per pupil, and the stimulus sheet “The Amazon rainforest: a fact file and Elin’s first draft”, one per pupil so they can mark it. No computers are needed. Pupils need a pen in a different colour from their writing, and a highlighter if you have them.
Run: 5 min pupils read the fact file and the draft · 12 min Step 2, proofreading with symbols · 5 min Step 3, sorting the mistakes · 6 min Step 4, fixing the facts · 13 min Step 5, paragraphs and rewriting one paragraph · 8 min Step 6, writing a conclusion · 6 min Step 7, partner check and success criteria. Total 55 minutes.
Collect: this sheet and the marked stimulus. It is literacy practice: proofreading, editing and improving a piece of writing so that it is accurate, organised and formal. It builds towards the extended writing pupils do in GCSE Geography. The draft is invented; the fact file is accurate for Key Stage 3. A list of all 27 mistakes and a model improved report are on the worked example.
Elin has written a first draft of a geography report on the Amazon rainforest. She knows quite a lot, but her draft has mistakes, informal words, no paragraphs and no proper ending. You will be her editor: find and correct the mistakes, then improve part of the report so it reads like a real geography report.
Read the fact file in Part 1. Then read Elin’s draft in Part 2 once, without marking it. Read the proofreading symbols and the checklist at the bottom.
Go through Elin’s draft slowly, one sentence at a time. Highlight each mistake and write the symbol above it in a different colour. There are 27 mistakes to find. Then record 10 of them here.
| Sentence | Symbol | Mistake | Correction |
|---|---|---|---|
Count how many mistakes of each type you marked on the draft. Write one example of each type.
| Symbol | Type of mistake | How many I found | One example |
|---|---|---|---|
| C | Capital letter | ||
| sp | Spelling | ||
| P | Punctuation | ||
| ww | Wrong, vague or informal word | ||
| F | Wrong fact | ||
| R | Repetition | ||
| // and ^ | Paragraphs and missing parts |
(b) Which type of mistake do you think matters most in a geography report? Why?
Use the fact file to correct each sentence. Write the whole sentence correctly.
(a) Sentence 2 (the river):
(b) Sentence 4 (the rain):
(c) Sentence 5 (the layers):
(a) Elin’s draft is one long block. Mark // on the draft where each new paragraph should start. Write the sentence numbers here and give each paragraph a short heading.
| Paragraph | Sentences | Heading |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 to 2 | Introduction: where it is |
| 2 | ||
| 3 | ||
| 4 | ||
| 5 | ||
| 6 |
(b) Rewrite sentences 12 to 14 as one improved paragraph about the causes of deforestation, about 60 to 100 words. You must:
Elin’s report ends with “Thats my report.” Write a proper conclusion of 3 or 4 sentences, on your own. Sum up what the rainforest is like, say what the main threat to it is, and give your view. You may use these starters: In conclusion, … · However, … · Although … · Therefore, I think …
Swap sheets with a partner. Read their paragraph (Step 5b) and conclusion (Step 6). Tick each point they have done. Then give back the sheet.
| Capital letters for places | Geographical terms spelt correctly | At least 3 linking words | Formal words (no loads, stuff, cool) | Facts match the fact file | Conclusion sums up and gives a view |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Checked by: ____________________
Now improve one sentence of your own that your partner did not tick. Write the better version here.